Romance Between A Bee and A Gorilla
by Roxius
Summary: If he's really as useless and stupid as Soifon claims, then why does she even bother keeping him around? Here's the least possible answer. 30 random sentences of Omaeda X Soifon. Mentions of YoruSoi. OOCness is required. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A/N: Yay! It's fic 800! All I need is 200 more to get to 1000!!! :3

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Title: Romance Between A Bee and A Gorilla

Genre: Romance/General

Rating: T

Pairing: Marechiyo Omaeda X Soifon

Summary: If he's really as useless and stupid as Soifon claims, then why does she even bother keeping him around? Here's the least possible answer. 30 random sentences of Omaeda X Soifon. Mentions of YoruSoi. OOCness is required. Please R & R!

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**1. Tears**

Omaeda was the only one who really knew how many tears were spilled the day Yoruichi Shihōin left Soul Society.

**2. Faults**

He was slow, stupid, weak, naive, cowardly, fat, ugly, sloppy...and yet he was the only one who made Soifon feel complete inside.

**3. Kiss**

It was hard, being in love with someone you were too disgusted by to even so much as kiss.

**4. Love**

The day their love became public was probably the most humiliating day in Soifon's entire afterlife.

**5. Cracker**

Before she actually tried one herself, Soifon never really understood why Omaeda insisting on stuffing his face with fried rice crackers at every conceivable moment.

**6. Touch**

Only when they were truly alone did Soifon allow him to touch her.

**7. Bath**

It wasn't until Soifon came at him with her weapons drawn did Omaeda finally concede to taking a bath.

**8. Smell**

"...Huh...your hair smells really nice today, taichou!! Did you shampoo it with something other than Head & Shoulders?"

"...Shut up, you idiot..."

**9. Hug**

Soifon liked to imagine that Omaeda was a big, soft teddy bear she could just hug whenever she was feeling down.

**10. Motion**

She moved so fluidly and elegantly through the air; Omaeda could not help but become mesmerized.

**11. Open**

Never in her life had Soifon imagined that she would one day fall into Omaeda's arms and weepingly open up all of her inner sorrows to him, an empty beer bottle still clutched tightly in her right hand.

**12. Only**

The only thing that Omaeda had known which Soifon did not, was the exact button sequence of the Konami code.

**13. One**

It took one night, and one night only, for Soifon to realize what it was she really wanted.

**14. Tiny**

Omaeda would never say it out loud, least his lips be torn from his mouth, but he found Soifon's minuscule size compared to his towering stature to be quite adorable.

**15. Hair**

It was painstaking task, having to put together Soifon's hair every morning, but Omaeda had gradually gotten better at it as time passed.

**16. Blood**

He clutched the small woman's bleeding, motionless body close to his chest, listening intently as her breathing slowed. He prayed with all of his soul that Unohana would arrive here soon.

**17. Family**

Soifon had never felt so relieved when her meeting with Omaeda's family had finally concluded. The only one of them she could even stand to look at without getting an urge to vomit was Omaeda's cute little sister.

**18. Sick**

"Let go of me. You're making me sick," Even in the midst of a life-threatening battle, Soifon could not risk showing an ounce of affection towards Omaeda when in public.

**19. Thousand**

He would have taken a thousand hits for her, if it meant she'd smile just once.

**20. Child**

Every Shinigami in Soul Society prayed that the child would not inherit any of his father's personality or physical traits.

**21. Heavy**

Omaeda really was as heavy as he looked, but poor Soifon learned that the hard way, unfortunately.

**22. War**

Omaeda sometimes wondered what would happen to him and Soifon once the war against Aizen was over.

**23. Birthday**

Sure, throwing a party for an anti-social person like Soifon was a thankless job, but Omaeda figured it was worth it just to see her wearing that cardboard cone hat.

**24. Insult**

"You're an idiot...a big, fat, stupid idiot..."

"...But you still love me despite all of that?"

"Yes..."

"...Uh-huh..."

**25. Worry**

Sometimes, in the very depths of her heart, Soifon truly worried about Omaeda.

**26. Relief**

General Yamamoto actually broke down into tears of joy when he saw the child; besides for his eye color, he looked nothing like Omaeda.

**27. Surprise**

It was much to Omaeda's great surprise at how timid and submissive Soifon suddenly became when they were in the bedroom.

**28. Ring**

Clutching the ring tightly in his fist, Omaeda just hoped now that it was the right size to fit on one of Soifon's tiny, thin fingers.

**29. Silent**

Even upon reaching the peak of her climax, Soifon never said a single word. It bothered Omaeda a little, to tell the truth.

**30. Different**

Lately these days, Omaeda was much less resistant in being dragged into his taichou's office to be 'punished'. Sometimes, it seemed like he was even LOOKING FORWARD to it.


End file.
